Thursday, May 19, 2011

"Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new." - Henry David Thoreau



I remember an episode in the once popular sitcom 'Ugly Betty' where Wilhelmina (the evil editor of fashion magazine Mode) is hiding behind trashy clothes she would not be seen dead in. I think she was either going through a rebellious "I don't care" phase or was sneaking around trying to appear inconspicuous. When her extremely image conscious assistant Mike expresses his utter shock at her ill-fitting lumpy jumpsuit, she confidently states that it could very well be the next trend. And sure enough we soon see the receptionist donning an identical outfit.

Now this episode was aired a couple of years back and could very well be regarded as one of those ancient predictions that suddenly become relevant in contemporary society (think Mayan). 2011 can aptly be termed as the year the jumpsuits attacked. They suddenly jumped out of nowhere into the wardrobe of every child, teenager and woman. Although I'm all for keeping with the current trends, I couldn't quite get my head across this one. To me jumpsuits have always been the standard attire of house painters and... convicts. No disrespect to them but they have never really been a popular source of fashion inspiration for me.

Sure they look good on models on the ramp but then again what doesn't? They could be wearing a hamburger costume and still exude appeal (mmmm extra cheese). I have seen some women carry off jumpsuits to the tee but there is not one single dress in the world that wouldn't make them look better. I couldn't quite figure out my distaste towards them till I realized the uncanny resemblance to nightsuits. The uniform pattern throughout from the top of your head (well, sort of) till the tips of your toes. It's like wearing a printed shirt with printed pants, like teaming hot pink with hot pink. Which most people would not do on their worst days. Then how does it make it acceptable if the two pieces in question are stitched together?? And how did whoever came up with this brilliant design (after spending a few hours in community service picking up trash in a bright orange jumpsuit?) convince the whole world of its brilliance? How did millions of women get sucked into the "chicness" of something they would have scorned at otherwise?

Designer Elsa Schiaparelli throws some light on how trends like this spread like wildfire, burning the originality inherent in every one of us:
"Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women."
:-)

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Scent and (non)sensibility

Perfumes are undoubtedly an integral aspect of our daily wardrobes. In addition to looking presentable, one strives not to be regarded as a stinky sock. Perfumes came into being originally as a substitute for baths- which at one point were a terrible hassle (no hot gushing showers immersing you in their play as soon as you step into your bathroom). Now that perfumes are not only used to mask body odour, we can be more picky. 

And picky I am, choosing the subtlest of the subtle, the mildest, the most beautiful scents with a hint of summer and prepare myself for a short whirlwind romance with the fragrance. Bright Crystal however had other plans. 

Bought in the summer of 2009 in a tiny 50 ml bottle, it was supposed to last for half a year and then duly replaced. It was sprinkled in generous amounts on a daily basis transforming sleepy mornings into a never-ending charade of sunshine. I enjoyed it immensely for the first 6 months, but "after a while you learn, even sunshine burns." I waited eagerly for the sweet liquid to sink down, but was dumbfounded to see that there was hardly a change in quantity since its first day out of the box. I decided to continue using it for a few more days, but the days turned into months, months turned into years. 

Spring 2011: 2/3rds of the gurgling liquid crystal remains intact. Maybe it's just an illusion? Maybe Versace created a bottomless bottle? Or maybe once I spray the perfume in the air, the tiny particles fall back into the container, thus preserving itself. The possibilities are infinite.

I believe that one day when the human race is extinct, Bright Crystal will rise to power blinding all the species left with its bright crystalline powers, and forcing submission. And you my dear readers (if you exist at all even now) will not be there to witness this apocalypse. 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I dream of Jean-i.e.


 Coco Chanel took great pains to make womens clothes comfortable and practical. Chanel replaced the large umbrellas people wore on their heads with small, pert hats.  She enabled women to get out of their starched petticoats and corsets and get into comfortable  pants- for purposes like horse riding, dancing or any other activity requiring movement. 

But what did we do with that? We created and improvised and came up with the worldwide popular item- skinny jeans. Now skinny jeans are pants no doubt, but in no way are they practical. You cannot go horse riding in them, you cannot run, and in some really tight varieties, you cannot even bend to pick up your pencil.

So why do we wear these? They look good undoubtedly, on most body types, flattering our curves,or lack of them. But is that really all we look for? For some of us (including me till recently), the answer would be yes. But when you live in a city where temperatures go upto 45 degrees celsius, you are bound to warm up to the idea of practicality at some point. Which is when I suddenly find myself in a pair of loose black cotton pants for two straight months. They are comfortable, look great when teamed with a tank top and go well with summer shoes. Problem solved?

Not quite. Comes a party or a formal event and I find myself wildly scavenging around in my closet for... yes, skinny jeans. Dresses, skirts and even high-waist shorts are all good options, but in my opinion not much can beat the appeal of jeans teamed with a pair of sky-high heels and a pretty top. So although we can substitute these glove-fit jeans to an extent, they prove to be indispensable. So I guess some discomforts are worth the suffering... so what if it cuts off blood circulation?